


Picture Perfect

by Bandicoot



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Al Capone - Freeform, Battle of the Smithsonian, Capoleon, M/M, Name Calling, Napoleon Bonaparte - Freeform, Nippy, Selfies, cute stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandicoot/pseuds/Bandicoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Al meets up with the miniatures and they show him a mobile phone. Ideas come to mind on what fun he can have with this and a certain French general. Al/Napoleon. Slash (don't like, don't read). Rated T.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: This chapter is short, but the next chapter will be much longer and a lot more interesting, because it's just getting the ball rolling. Also, be aware that this is my first published fanfiction. I have written fanfiction before, but I never finish them, and I don't like published works that go unfinished. With that said, do enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the story written.

Al took a stroll around the museum in hopes that something or someone would ease his bored mind. He was not surprised when he set his eyes on the miniatures, knowing that it would be them. As he approached, he had no idea what they were up to though. It looked as if they were posing in front of a small, screened device.

“What the heck are you guys doin'?” he asked curiously. There was a beep that emitted from the small device, and the two miniatures broke their stance. They turned in unison to face the young gangster.

“Hey there Al!” Jedediah greeted, a short wave as he did so. “We're taking selfies.”

If no one knew any better, they would have said that Al's expression was one of disgust, but in truth, he was just deeply confused.

“A what?” he questioned, crossing his arms.

“A selfie. It's taking pictures of yourself,” Jedediah explained. He then put an arm around Octavius' shoulder. “Or with friends.” He smiled at his buddy, as did Octavius in return.

“Okay. So this...” Al began, picking up the device involved, “is a camera?”

Jedediah half chuckled, releasing Octavius.

“Well, sorta. It's a phone.”

This was a surprise. He had seen telephones before, but they looked nowhere near to what he was holding in his hand, as they were not flat or cordless. They did not have a screen either, and they could do nothing more than to contact people from a distance.

“Wow! I ain't ever seen a phone like this before,” inspecting it further. Looking at it though, there was not a lot he could learn about it.

“It is a rather unique piece of technology, it has to be said,” Octavius spoke, finally able to get a word in this time past that cowboy mouth of Jedediah's. “You can imagine how we thought when we had learned of this, as we both come from a time before you, Mr. Capone. Especially myself.”

Jedediah nodded in agreement.

“True that. It's fun t' learn about the things today 'as to offer, ain't it partner?” Jedediah turned his head slightly to look at Octavius.

“It certainly is, my friend.”

Al merely continued to listen to what the two had to say before talking again.

“I suppose I won't have too much to learn then compared to you two. That's a little bit sad actually, I'm finding myself quite bored some days. That's why I'm here,” Al told them.

The miniatures looked at each for a second, then nodded.

“Tell ya what Al, let us teach you how to use this, then you can take it with you. I'm sure ye mind will be less bored with that in your hand,” Jedediah confirmed with a smile on his face.  
Al's eyes lit up. Finally, something to set his mind to.

“I'm sure it will. Okay fellas, show me how this thing works.”

 

A good thirty minutes had passed since Al came into contact with the miniatures. He had learned a considerate amount of knowledge about the mobile phone. He knew how to make calls, though he had no one's number to dial, so for now this was not useful to him. It mattered little anyway, because who would he call? None of the other exhibits had any sort of telephone on them. At least not yet. Besides, what Al was interested in was using that camera in possessed. Pesky thoughts came to mind at what he could do with that.

“Looks like ye all set to go, Grey! Let us know how ye git on,” Jedediah said, hands on his hips in his typical cowboy posture.

“Be sure of it, Blondie,” Al grinned, half in agreement, half at the nickname.

Jedediah did not protest though, as he knew he had that habit with nicknames on many exhibits and Larry. A bit of friendly banter was all it was.

“I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun, Mr. Capone,” Octavius spoke up.

Al nodded.

“You can bet on it. In fact, I know exactly what I'm gonna do.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Al encounters Napoleon, and stuff goes down. A* summery. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: This chapter is a lot longer (by over 2000 words).
> 
> I'm not 100% happy with the results, but it is what it is. Some areas I'm rather proud of though. I do welcome criticism, because I do want to improve on my punctuation (as I'm sure there are mistakes here), but don't be a butt about it.
> 
> (EDIT - 2nd Jan 2016)
> 
> I have decided to leave this as a finished story, as I originally did consider adding more, but it never happened. The good thing is the story ends in a way that it can, as anything that follows would be there just to exist.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters.

In another part of the museum, Napoleon was found sitting in a rather posh looking chair. In front of his eyes was an open book, his pupils transfixed on the words presented to him:

“If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him.”

He continued to read, taking a moment to take a sip from his Camomile Tea. His concentration was broken however, when he heard a knock at the door. He nearly dropped his China teacup.

“Who is it?” he enquired. He did not mind an intrusion now and again, so long as it was not-

“Nippy, it's Al. Lemme in!” Dammit. Napoleon frowned and chose to ignore him, resuming with his reading.

“Hey!” the voice called again, slightly annoyed.

“Go away! I am busy.”

No answer back. Strange, he thought. He was relieved when he heard footsteps walking away from the door. Perhaps now he could continue with his book.

There was nothing but silence for the next two minutes, but that changed when he heard voices, noticeably the Hun's. Several cheers followed, causing Napoleon to become slightly anxious. Then the stampede came, along with the screaming Huns.

“Ayez pitié.” He let out a meep and braced himself.

The crash came first, followed by wooden shards and splinters that flew in all directions. Napoleon shot up, pushing himself out of the chair, allowing it to descend to the ground. A heap of Huns lay at his feet.

“Mon dieu!” he complained. No two guesses who was behind this. His eyes fixated on where the door once stood, now a gaping hole in the wall. A man partially filled it.

“Nice job, boys. I'll take it from here,” spoke Al, looking rather pleased with himself. That smug face of his was just itching for a slap as far as Napoleon was concerned. Both of them remained quiet from that moment on, waiting for the Huns to make their leave. One by one, each stood, smiling at Al as they passed him. Attila was the last to leave, giving Al a big pat on his shoulder.

“We'll talk about this later, okay big guy?” Al told him. Attila nodded, speaking a word that Al was not familiar with, but figured it was along the lines of 'okay' or 'yes'. Then the Hun was gone, leaving the two alone to discuss matters that were unknown to him.

Napoleon looked ready to murder someone.

“What is he meaning of this!?” he huffed. He could not believe what Al had done. Was there a limit to this man? Why should he be surprised though? Al was always up to some mischief and taking a pleasure in annoying the living daylights out of him.

“I wanted to see you,” Al stated, the smile never leaving his face. Napoleon raised an eyebrow. “But you turned me away. Don't go breakin' my heart, Nippy.”

Napoleon let out an unimpressed sound. Was he suppose to feel flattered?

“The only thing that is broken here is the door! Look at this mess! Imbecile...”

He gestured at the floor, before turning his back on Al. His eyes had set on his China Teacup. Broken now, it's liquid contents spilled and wasted.

“Even by tea did not survive this onslaught...”

Al let out a sigh of half amusement.

“Ah who cares about that, look what I have here!” Al stuffed the mobile phone in Napoleon's face, who merely blinked in confusion.

“What is this?” he asked. He had seen nothing of the sort in his life. At least, not during the real Napoleon's life, as the museum exhibit had caught glimpses of inventions and equipment that were non-existent in his time.

“It's a mobile phone. You can talk to people on it, take photographs, all sorts of cool stuff,” Al replied. Napoleon was interested now. Communication through a small electronic box. It intrigued him.

“How interesting!” he exclaimed, reaching out towards the device. “May I?”

“Be my guest.”

It landed in his hand. It was light in weight, which despite its size, still surprised him. He inspected further, but not understanding what he was suppose to do.

“I have a question. Well, two actually,” he spoke. “How do you use this thing, and... what is a photograph?”

The mobile phone was taken from him without warning, but not hastily, just unnoticed.

“Well, it might be best to explain it all to ya another time, as that might take a while. No offense, but I'm from a time when at least the telephone existed, so I'm able to grasp the information better,” Al confirmed.

Napoleon could agree on him there, as he was not familiar with such things that Al knew of, just as Al was not familiar with things of the present day.

“I see your point,” Napoleon agreed. Al put his focus on the mobile phone, bringing up the menu.

“As for the photograph, it'll be easier to just show ya,” he stated. Napoleon nodded slowly.

“Fair enough.”

Al brought the device up to his eye level, looking at the screen. On it, he could see Napoleon standing there, a look of confusion plastered on his face.

“Say cheese!” Al commanded.

“Quoi?”

There was a small clicking noise, and then the photograph appeared on screen. A picture of Napoleon in mid-sentence, unaware of what had happened. Al could only grin at the image.

“Take a look,” Al instructed, showing Napoleon. Napoleon's face dropped. It was a picture of him, exactly how he was a few seconds ago. While he liked that idea, he scoffed at the image itself. He thought he looked ridiculous, almost as if the Napoleon on the screen was mocking him. He blushed slightly.

“I look stupide! I was not ready. Why did you not saying anything?” he defended. Al chuckled.

“I told ya to say cheese,” he mocked, knowing Napoleon would not understand what that meant.

“Do I look like a mouse to you?” Napoleon snorted, placing his hands on his hips. He was becoming more like Jedediah with every passing day.

“Well, about as short as one,” Al responded, grinning, his eyes playful.

“Hey!” Napoleon protested in annoyance. He always hated how Al could turn his own words against him. Such wit. Al almost giggled.

“Only joking. Saying cheese makes you smile, see? So smile for the picture, okay?” Al confirmed. “Now then, shall we try again?” He held the phone up to get ready when a hand appeared on top of it, pushing it downwards.

“Aucun, I do not think that will be necessary,” Napoleon informed. “Come, I'll help you clean up this mess you made.”

Al frowned. He gone through all of this trouble to learn about this device and all he got out of it was one photograph of Napoleon. He was going to have his selfie with him, no matter what.

“Aww, c'mon! Won't take a second,” he complained. He reached out for Napoleon anyway, regardless of what his answer would have been. He slung an arm around Napoleon's neck, pulling him close.

“Hey! Let go of me you crétin,” he cried out, wiggling around in Al's grasp.

“Nu uh. You stay put for a sec, Nippy. Say cheese,” Al instructed. Napoleon ignored him, but Al proceeded anyway. After the click, he let go of Napoleon and looked at the newly taken picture. Napoleon became worried when he heard Al laugh out loud.

“Oh no... I bet I look terrible again. Let me see,” he said, reaching out towards the phone. Al made sure however that Napoleon would not be getting his hands on it.

“Ah ah... thought ya weren't interested,” he teased. He found a delight in seeing Napoleon scrunch up his face like a raisin. He thought it was cute.

“Show me what I look like this instant!” Napoleon demanded, continuing in his attempt to get the device out of Al's grasp.

“Sorry, but I don't got a mirror me, sweetheart.”  
That was it. Napoleon was not having any more of this foolish behaviour. So he tackled Al. Unprepared, the force knocked Al flat on his back, with Napoleon sprawled on top of him. The phone had fallen out of Al's hand, now laying about a metre away from them. With Al slightly stunned, Napoleon wasted no time in crawling over on the floor to grab at it. He succeeded.

Slightly relieved, but knowing it was not over yet, he quickly tried to get to his feet before Al could have the phone back in his possession. Unfortunately for him, no such luxury was had, when he felt two arms circle themselves around Napoleon's legs, causing him to fall and have his face greet the floor.

He cried out as the impact hurt his nose. He rolled over onto his back to survey the damage. Nothing serious, just a bit red. He was thankful that he still had the phone with him though, being more fortunate than Al was when he had fallen.

He was not so lucky when Al tackled him as he began to stand, resulting in having his back hit a wall. He lay there against it, his legs out in front of him where we sat. He could feel a certain weight on his legs and it was no surprise when he saw Al laying over them.

“Idiot! Get off of me!” he spat, attempting to push Al away. It was no use, as Al was fairly heavy, being of a taller and more muscular build than himself. The resistance Al was putting up too did not help either.

“Gotcha now, Nippy,” Al said triumphantly, raising himself from his laying position to now sit on Napoleon's legs, keeping him trapped. He was merely greeted with a huff as Napoleon chose to look away, his arms crossed over his chest.

“How mature,” Al mocked, giving off a toothy grin. Napoleon shot him a look of distain.

“And what would you know about maturity, Alphonze? I am both older than you by birth and how I am represented, whereas you only represent the young Al Capone,” he snorted. Al raised an eyebrow.

“So what?” he asked, half amused.

“You are still a boy, Al, not a man. You are naïve, destructive, unwise, you don't know where your priorities lie and you have no respect for others. Especially me. These are what separate you from me. From a boy to a man,” Napoleon told him. Al narrowed his eyes, frowning. He almost stood up at the insult, but he remained still.

“I ain't a boy! And if anyone's not a man 'round here, it's you, with your sappy French ways and cowardliness! You may as well be a woman,” he resorted back, placing a finger on Napoleon's nose, which was soon pushed away.

“How dare you make fun of my masculinity! Just because I am more in touch with my emotions and enjoy the arts does not make me less of a man than you! I am not a woman!” Napoleon snapped. There was silence for a moment, as Al said nothing and Napoleon just sat there waiting for him to say something. Then he spoke.

“You may as well be...”

Napoleon looked disgusted, believing that Al had continued to insult him, missing the almost sincerity in Al's voice.  
“And what do you mean by that?” he asked spitefully. Al was at his limit now. All of this bickering and conflict, it only made him accept the truth. Having Napoleon pinned in place certainly helped matters too. Now was the time.

Almost trance-like, he lifted both hands to grasp at Napoleon's cheeks. The touch caused the general to flinch, becoming wide eyed with confusion and nervousness. He certainly was not expecting this.

“What?” he squeaked out, his voice half deserting him. He just looked at Al, watching those eyes of his. Al did the same, unsure of himself on how this should progress. He slowly lowered his head to get in close to Napoleon's, but not touching. It was a silent ask for permission. He noticed Napoleon's eyes were slightly calmer now, their gaze set on Al's lips with anticipation. Al understood, and the gap was sealed.

As his lips were claimed, Napoleon breathed in through his nose, which did not go unnoticed. He was in disbelief and fear, yet also relieved and a bit needy. Through this, it also caused him confusion. He knew what he wanted though; this brute of a man that spoke the venom of a Cobra. So he did not leave to do all the work, and he kissed back, bringing up both of his hands to grasp at Al's hair.

He felt Al's lips curl into a grin in response. Not a lot of time had passed when Napoleon could feel the lips leaving him now. He was surprised how gentle Al was actually. He still could not believe tonight's turn of events. The shame struck at him like a knife to the chest. Before Al could say anything, he let go of Al's hair to grab at his wrists, pulling away those grey hands that still held his face. He hung his head, as Al watched on.

“You stupide man,” Napoleon spoke. Not the words Al expected to hear, but he was not sure on what would be said. It was all a bit messy and instructed. Given that just moments ago they were throwing insults at each other, he wagered that Napoleon was feeling a bit uneasy right now.

“I know.”

An embrace followed the room of silence. Neither objected to letting the other go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was it? Do tell. XD
> 
> The quote/line Napoleon was reading is from the Great Gatsby. Haven't read it, just looked for a nice quote/book that might fit him.
> 
> Translations:  
> Ayez pitié = have mercy.  
> Mon dieu – my God.  
> Quoi = what.  
> Stupide = stupid.  
> Aucun = no.  
> Crétin = moron.
> 
> At least, I think they're the correct translations (Google Translate ftw!)


End file.
